Silly Bits

I have this interesting problem. I don't know who you are. You have no doubt selected this link with a purpose and I have no idea what that purpose is. There is a good chance you are someone I already know. If you are then hello, this is a recorded message. Recorded messages are not good for saying anything relevant and are very seldom interesting. Go and find the real me, I'm probably dying for a good chat. If on the other hand you don't really know me then I must apologise on behalf of this page since it is fairly unlikely to rectify that problem. But I bid you a nondescript net.hello anyway so you can sit there in your swivel chair and wonder whether I really am a nice enough guy to say hello to the whole of the developed world at once and mean it.

OK, it's time for a game. I want you to stop reading this for just a moment and stand on your chair and wave your arms around. OK, stop reading now and do it. Done ? Good. Now let me explain why... Oops now wait a moment, you didn't do it ! Why not ? Are you embarassed ? Or maybe you think you don't want to ? Until you try it you won't know. Believe me, it's sometimes a good idea to do something just to prove you can. Now I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "Ha, if I wanted to stand on my chair and waves my arms then I could." But that isn't the point. You are a prisoner of your own habits, you are stuck in a pattern of behaviour imprinted on you by others. Go on, I dare you, stand on your chair and wave your arms ! OK, perhaps you need an example to follow. There, between this sentence and the last I stood on my chair and waved my arms. Now it's your turn. Oh well, never mind then, I can tell you're not going to. I do think it's really sad though that what could have been a remarkable interactive experience has ended up as you sitting there sleepily skimming this paragraph and thinking how pointless it is. Do you see what I mean ? You, just like everyone else are guilty of social conformity and downright laziness.

Next, because it is very fashionable to tie in the dreary cardboard pixels of the world wide web with exciting concepts like Eastern Mysticism, I (fairly) proudly present "The Way of Slinker" :

The Food Wisdom

Eat bizarre things at silly times and steal other peoples' food.

The Relationship Wisdom

If they won't sleep with you then insist on a hug instead.

The Work Wisdom

Clever sayings cannot defuse work crises.

The Web Wisdom

Never stand on your chair because a web page tells you to.

[ Leave in disgust | Help I'm lost... ]