Allegedly Real Things

The real world is a scary place. It is also not as real as everyone tells you, especially when viewed from the net. My name is Simon Hawkins and as well as eating, sleeping and going to the toilet I also study the science of computation. I totally refuse to be drawn into more details of my course. Suffice to say that I am at Oxford University and I should probably be working instead of talking to you.

It is very probable that when you loaded this page into your browser you had to resize your window in order to view it properly. I would just like to emphasise that this is in no way accidental. Having resized your window you will probably be too lazy to change it back and the whole of the web will now look much better. People use such small windows it's a mystery to me why they buy such big monitors. All very Freudian if you ask me. Oh, that reminds me, I used to be a psychologist. I never studied Freud though, because nobody does in Oxford. When people here talk about "The F word" they mean 'Freud', rather than the common four letter alternative.

That's quite enough reality I think. I'm not going to give you any links because nothing on the web is real and even if it was I'd keep well away.

[ Leave in disgust | Help I'm lost... ]

Reality is what remains during a power cut.