Day in the Life of a Spod II ---------------------------- I am in Love. I haven't felt this way since I logged on via a 100MHz 586Gti. Her name is Felicity, but she prefers her mono name of Phalopia. She came down from Upnorth University (Formerly Upnorth Poly) to see her ex-boyfriend, Hotperm. You must have seen him around he has long, curly hair. He used to be called HotSpecialPerm (shortened to Hotsperm) but had to change it because Tosswank complained it was a bit rude. Too right. It upset Sheri, too. I never knew Hotperm that well, but when Phalopia told ME she was coming down (by messaging every user) to see him, I started bumping into him more often. It's always good to meet more women from mono. The one's round here are either taken and not intersted in me, or simply not interested in me. I guess it's because I'm not good-looking like Abdabs, author of mono, sleeping with whom seems to be a pre-requisite for a female to get an account. It can't be my personality. I'm rather outgoing. Certainly more so than Termcap and he went out with Loveydove for three days. I can easily hold my own in a conversation. The other lunchtime I was telling a girl in the refectory about the wonders of the password file and what each field meant. For nearly two hours. She was impressed. She kept covering her mouth to hold in the excitement. And quite possibly to stop herself from kissing me. But she had to go to filtration lecture in the end. Funny, she said she was a sociology student. The day before Phalopia came down she was logged on. I had just put a funny edit in the oxymoron file and was feeling pretty good about myself. I had said that "Stop going" was an oxymoron. I wasn't so happy later when I found that Crumby had deleted it. He obviously has no sense of humour. Cobol and Totalspod nearly wet themselves with laughter when I told them it. And he had the cheek to put "Life of a Spod" was an oxymoron. Me, knife, fork, spoon and plate are all going to ignore him at the next mono meet. We'll see who laughs then. But I was happy at the time, and seeing Phalopia (what a lovely name, I wonder if it is French?) I sent her lots of messages. She said '' on nearly every one. Except one that had '<>' on it. My heart nearly skipped a beat. Me and Flopydisk went to meet her with Hotperm. I had expected her to be attractive (all mono women are) but I had not anticipated her being so beautiful. Flopydisk said that if he was a pervert he would have had an erection. Hotperm got a lingering hug and a large, soggy kiss. When we were introduced she gave me a smile that said she would like to hug me but couldn't because she didn't know me that well. Hotperm drove me and Flopydisk back to Wanky Halls. He took Phalopia back to his flat because she wanted to play some chinese game. It was called something like Sha Ging. Apparently only two can play. I suggested me and Flopydisk play with each other whilst we watched them to see how you do it, but they just laughed. The next day I saw Phalopia was logged in on a terminal across the campus. I thought she may need someone to show her round the university so ran over there. Hotperm was there, too. They were holding hands and so I said "Holding hands are we?" (Tetris says I have such a great line in observational humour.) After I showed them my X-windows set up, Phalopia said she was hungry to Hotperm and suggested they go back to his for some falashio. "Hmmm, I like pasta" I said. It's amazing how many people find me amusing when I don't intend to be. I spent the evening in the recently renamed Malcolm X bar, at the main site, with Crapbeard, Plimsoles and Anorak. Phalopia never turned up. Crapbeard said he saw her earlier with Hotperm and Shagette. When we realised she probably wouldn't turn up the evening went down a bit. Luckily I lightened the proceedings up by suggestion that the bar would be better called the Malcolm X-windows bar. Crapbeard laughed so hard he had to put his Tizer down. There's a proper meet tomorrow. Me, cardigan, zerolife and purple are going. Phalopia said she was going. I hope so. I bought her a present. Roger Ratshit's new book, "Adventures in Unix Land." She is going to be so pleased when she gets it. She told Pspod that her favourite book was "The Calmer Suitra" but I couldn't find it anywhere under the fantasy section. I'll try the computing section tomorrow. (C)heeze 26/3/93